July 28, 2009

I can't be the only one with a want button

When I was little, my dad would often tell me: "turn your want button off" :) Isn't he funny? He thinks he is anyway. :) I've always been the type of person that lives months ahead of where I am now. When Lee and I were dating, all I could think about was being engaged, then all I could think about was being married! Once I decided to buy a house, I wouldn't stop the search until I found the one. Those bookcases we're building? Once I had them in mind, I wouldn't shut up until we started on them! It's ridiculous. Sometimes I have to remind myself to live in the here and now and appreciate all that I have. Because I do know that I have a lot to be thankful for. Lately I haven't been doing that enough. I want a new house, I want a new car, I want a new dress, I want this or that. I have decided to turn my want button off!! (well you know, maybe except for the dress. my birthday is coming up, and every birthday girl needs a new dress, right?!) I think my want button is stressing me out, and stressing Lee out by extension! I am going to calm down and enjoy being a newlywed and spending as much time with Lee and the girls as I can.

Speaking of being a newlywed, my name is officially changed everywhere! I must say that I am quite impressed with myself :) I changed it at the SS office the week we got back from the honeymoon, I already have anew driver's license, and I changed it at the bank! I even got a new voter's registration card complete with my current address! For the past 2 years, if I wanted to vote on anything, I had to drive all the way out to BA! I also changed it at work and the only thing missing is my new name plate, which I hope I get soon!

A friend of mine that I used to work with invited me to a Pampered Chef party. I was totally excited because 1) I haven't seen her in a while except for the wedding and that doesn't count, and 2) I LOVE Pampered Chef! So I was really looking forward to the party that's on Thursday. Until today when she told me that my old boss will probably be there. She wasn't telling me to warn me, she was telling me because she knew that I would like to see her. And I would have, if it were a couple of months ago.

I have remained close with several of the people I used to work with at my previous job. For the most part, it's all of the "non-management" folk that I still talk to at least weekly. My immediate boss and I worked very closely together for the last 9-12 months that I was there. It was more than a work relationship, you know? Especially in that kind of job, where you are working with these people for 70+ hours a week for months at a time, you get to know everyone really well. Your personal and work lives are intertwined. It didn't hurt that our office was small, there were only 8 of us. When I left, I know that my boss was very unhappy with me and thought that I was making the wrong decision. She said that she felt like she was losing a daughter the day I left. :( It was really difficult for me to make the decision to leave there, because I loved most the people that I worked with, but it was the right decision for me. (no matter how much I complain about the current job, trust me when I say the situation is much better this way) It was my first job out of college. When I started there, I was living with my parents, and Lee and I had been dating only about 6 months. When I left, I had my own house, Lee and I were living together, and we were engaged. My co-workers there shared in all of that with me. They were like an extended family. Obviously, I invited everyone of them to the wedding. And it was kind of a slap in the face that my old boss was the only one who didn't come. She didn't even send her RSVP back to me. I was surprised. And hurt. And back in April, at the end of busy season, I send my 5 friends that still work there (old boss included) an email congratulating them on making it through. She was the only one who did not respond. If you knew her, you would not have expected that, as I did not expect it. I don't know, maybe I take things too personally. Maybe she just really could not come or something, but how can you not take that kind of stuff personally? The whole thing just really hurt my feelings, and now I'm dreading going to something that I was looking forward to. The only thing that is making it okay to go is the fact that I will know a couple of other people there, so I won't be alone and awkward.


Jax said...

Dude. I feel ya on the want button.. I SO get like that. I just cant help planning.. It's not that we're dissatisfied necessarily (right?) but I just keep thinking ahead. It can be healthy...and unhealthy...depending.. haha! I prolly would have been upset by the old boss thing too...That's lamesauce -Jax

Hailey {HRH} said...

my want button is on nonstop! thats a great way to put it. i like that. and about the old work boss - i always take things too personally too...just shows you have a heart :)

The New Mrs said...

I am that exact same way. Always wanting this or that. I was that way with the house, getting engaged, planning a wedding.. so essentially EVERYTHING! I need to remind myself constantly to slow down. You are not alone :)