I don’t think it’s any secret that I have a strange relationship with my job. I have moments of sheer, outright hatred. There are many, many of those moments(daily). And then I have days were I think “okay, I can do this, I don’t love it, but I can stick it out”. Those moments, the thoughts of sticking it out, are fleeting, but they are there.
At the same time, I am also terrified of getting a new job. Even selecting positions to apply for is extremely difficult for me. Because I don’t trust myself, since I clearly accepted my current position (in which I am very unhappy, duh). But, I have to remind myself that I did have a gut feeling, and declined this position. Twice. Then they came back a third time, and that time, they told me that after one year of employment with the company, I could apply for any job within the company and simply transfer. It’s a really big company, with great opportunities, and so I said yes.
Due to circumstances along the way (wedding, baby, etc), and my above mentioned fear, I have yet to actually apply for any inter-company jobs. Until a couple weeks ago. In the past, I had seen a few things I was interested in, but out of fear, waited too long to apply, and then the job was gone. So when something came available a couple weeks ago, I knew that I couldn’t wait around. I allowed myself to think about it for one weekend (It came up on a Friday), and on the following Monday, I went for it and applied.
And yesterday, I was called for an interview. It’s tomorrow morning. I went back and forth this morning about it. Do I really think it’s a good fit for me? Could I just stick it out here for a bit longer? And then something happened at work, and I had a little cry at my desk (which hasn’t happened in quite a while, although not unheard of, haha) just out of sheer frustration. And that’s when I knew, I have to give this a shot. So, I’m praying that this new position would be a good fit for me, and that the interview goes well. And, if any of you feel compelled to do the same, I’d really (really, really!) appreciate it!