Week 38

“You only have 2 weeks left in your pregnancy, so try to sit back and enjoy these last few days”

 

That was the first sentence in my weekly email that I get from the American Pregnancy Association (which I highly recommend signing your husband up for!  It gives a “partner’s tip” at the end.  Such as: do a chore your wife hates, fill her car up with gas, buy her a pedicure.  I’ve gotten several things from this little “tip”, including a prenatal massage with a very strange masseuse, but that’s another story! )

 

Well, APA, the days of enjoying pregnancy ended about 3 weeks ago.  I really, honestly do hate to complain.  I always thought that I would LOVE being pregnant.  Not.the.case!  Especially the last several weeks.  I feel like a 100 year old woman.  All of my joints hurt, my feet and hands are so swollen that it hurts to make a fist, I walk slower than a turtle, and I feel like my bladder will never be okay again.  Cooper has been head down for most of the pregnancy, and he loves to bounce his little head on my bladder day and night.  It’s painful.  I have also had major issues with my hips, and my tailbone, of all things!  When I stand up from sitting (which I do all day at my desk job) I have to stand for a minute and slowly stretch around so that I can start walking!  I also get these very sharp, shooting pains right under my belly.  They are very distinct and one will flash horizontally  and the other will go vertically.  When I get a flash of the pain, I instinctly double over.  It mostly happens when I’m walking.  And they will happen like every 30 seconds.  So we will be at Target or something and I have to drive the cart so that I have something to lean against when it happens.  It’s super fun, because everyone turns and looks at this very pregnant lady saying “ow” and leaning over her cart!  Haha, I’m sure that they think I’m in labor.  When I mentioned these pains to my doctor, he suggested carrying around a cup of water to throw on the floor when I do this in public, so I don’t think he is too concerned!

 

I bought some nursing bras a couple weeks ago.  They made me laugh out loud in the dressing room.  I won’t even go into my reaction when the lady helping me told me what size I should get.  Anything that goes that far into the alphabet should only belong to large zoo animals.  I was in Target yesterday and saw that they had some that I might like, only to realize that they don’t even carry any of them in my size.  Yippee.  Kind of like underwear.  Am I like the largest person in the world or something?  Did you know that when you’re pregnant, and you gain weight, you pretty much just gain it wherever you would normally?  Like, I never really gain weight in my stomach.  Which, I think, is why people mention all the time that my belly is “so small”.  But take one look at my giant ass, and there you have it.  Oh, and my thighs rub together.  Which is awesome, especially when it’s 90 degrees outside!  I told Lee that I feel like I’m going to start chafing or get a rash or something.

 

Okay I’m finished complaining.  And I won’t do it again.  It just sort of got to me last night and then this morning I feel like I look like a whale.  So then I ate a cookie and a brownie for breakfast.  Because that’s normal.  Hey, the email told me to “enjoy” my last few days, and I enjoy things via brownies and cookies.  Oh, and ice cream!

 

P.S. I’m attempting to post this via email, which I’ve never done before, so if it works, yay!!