The longest vacation of them all

I’ve never been one of those women who thinks that all men are idiots or that men have it easier in the workplace or anything like that.  Until I started working for my current employer.  Women and men are treated SO, SO differently here.  And there are no women in charge.  No female managers or anything like that.

Anyway, this is more of a “funny story” than a rant on men.  And when I say “funny”, I mean that in more of a “I-want-to-punch-you-in-the-face” haha, as opposed to a funny haha.

A little background: we are in the middle of our “busy time” at work.  We are fast approaching a May 28 deadline in which we must have LOTSA stuff completed.  For simplicity’s sake, in my job, there are 3 levels.  We’ll refer to them as levels A, B, and C.  I am level A, I complete something, level B reviews, I correct, and then it goes to level C and I never see it again.  (I also never get a “good job” or “nice work”, or even a “you royally effed this up”.  No no, there is no encouragement here, nor is there any constructive criticism.  But I digress)

A few months ago, I gave something to B.  He took FOR.EV.ER to get it back to me.  Like I’m talking 6-8 weeks, when it should be less than 1.  So by the time I get it back, I’m swamped with new deadlines.  B comes over and says “oh, so I gave you such-and-such, do you think you could have it finished in 2 days?”  I am annoyed and tell B that I am extremely busy with several other projects due that same day, so I’m not sure if I can get to it in 2 days.  B tells me that he will be out of town the following week and that is why he asked me to have it finished in this ridiculous amount of time.  This co-worker in particular occasionally has to take off work to care for a family member, so I assume that this is why he is taking off an entire week during our busy time, so I say that I can work late to get it finished if it’s that important.  In the same breath, I ask if this time off is business or pleasure.  “I’m going to Florida for vacation” B tells me.  WTF.  During our busy time where “technically” no one is supposed to take off work?  No way am I busting my butt to get something done so this person can enjoy their vacay.

A few days later, I am in C’s office, where we are feverishly trying to complete something that none of us can figure out.  B comes over and is heading out for the aforementioned Florida vacay.  C is telling him to have a good time laying on the beach with a Corona, or something like that.  Corona was specifically mentioned.  They are laughing and joking around.  I’m annoyed because 1) we are trying to figure this shit out man!, and 2) this guy is going on vacation at the most inopportune time while all of his co-workers are here slaving away.  I casually, in a joking manner, of course say “I wish I was going on vacation!”  C looks at me and says, no.freaking,joke, “You’re getting ready to go on the longest vacation of us all!”  And they start laughing.  In case you were confused, as I was, yes, he was referring to my maternity leave as a vacation to Florida.  I reply to him that I would hardly call caring for a newborn and recovering from childbirth a vacation.  To which he simply asks me where I’d rather be, “here or there?”  Um, did that just happen?  Yes, yes it did.  I was SO offended!!  I had to excuse myself to the restroom because I thought steam was going to start shooting out of my ears!  Here they were talking about laying on the beach drinking beer and comparing that to taking maternity leave!  This is not the first time something like this has been said to me.  Not specifically referring to maternity leave, but in the general scheme of things, I get some not-so-appropriate comments from C fairly often.  C also feels comfortable enough to discuss circumcision with me and the difference between how to clean boys vs. girls during a diaper change.  Some people just should NOT be allowed to speak to others, let alone be in charge of a group of people.  Sheesh.  Call it maternity leave, call it vacation, I don’t care, I’m so ready to have a break from the office!

Week 38

“You only have 2 weeks left in your pregnancy, so try to sit back and enjoy these last few days”

 

That was the first sentence in my weekly email that I get from the American Pregnancy Association (which I highly recommend signing your husband up for!  It gives a “partner’s tip” at the end.  Such as: do a chore your wife hates, fill her car up with gas, buy her a pedicure.  I’ve gotten several things from this little “tip”, including a prenatal massage with a very strange masseuse, but that’s another story! )

 

Well, APA, the days of enjoying pregnancy ended about 3 weeks ago.  I really, honestly do hate to complain.  I always thought that I would LOVE being pregnant.  Not.the.case!  Especially the last several weeks.  I feel like a 100 year old woman.  All of my joints hurt, my feet and hands are so swollen that it hurts to make a fist, I walk slower than a turtle, and I feel like my bladder will never be okay again.  Cooper has been head down for most of the pregnancy, and he loves to bounce his little head on my bladder day and night.  It’s painful.  I have also had major issues with my hips, and my tailbone, of all things!  When I stand up from sitting (which I do all day at my desk job) I have to stand for a minute and slowly stretch around so that I can start walking!  I also get these very sharp, shooting pains right under my belly.  They are very distinct and one will flash horizontally  and the other will go vertically.  When I get a flash of the pain, I instinctly double over.  It mostly happens when I’m walking.  And they will happen like every 30 seconds.  So we will be at Target or something and I have to drive the cart so that I have something to lean against when it happens.  It’s super fun, because everyone turns and looks at this very pregnant lady saying “ow” and leaning over her cart!  Haha, I’m sure that they think I’m in labor.  When I mentioned these pains to my doctor, he suggested carrying around a cup of water to throw on the floor when I do this in public, so I don’t think he is too concerned!

 

I bought some nursing bras a couple weeks ago.  They made me laugh out loud in the dressing room.  I won’t even go into my reaction when the lady helping me told me what size I should get.  Anything that goes that far into the alphabet should only belong to large zoo animals.  I was in Target yesterday and saw that they had some that I might like, only to realize that they don’t even carry any of them in my size.  Yippee.  Kind of like underwear.  Am I like the largest person in the world or something?  Did you know that when you’re pregnant, and you gain weight, you pretty much just gain it wherever you would normally?  Like, I never really gain weight in my stomach.  Which, I think, is why people mention all the time that my belly is “so small”.  But take one look at my giant ass, and there you have it.  Oh, and my thighs rub together.  Which is awesome, especially when it’s 90 degrees outside!  I told Lee that I feel like I’m going to start chafing or get a rash or something.

 

Okay I’m finished complaining.  And I won’t do it again.  It just sort of got to me last night and then this morning I feel like I look like a whale.  So then I ate a cookie and a brownie for breakfast.  Because that’s normal.  Hey, the email told me to “enjoy” my last few days, and I enjoy things via brownies and cookies.  Oh, and ice cream!

 

P.S. I’m attempting to post this via email, which I’ve never done before, so if it works, yay!!

The accidental post about television

• Does anyone else still watch The Hills? I do. I can’t help it, it’s like a terrible car accident on the side of the road. You know you shouldn’t look, but you just can’t stop yourself. The last season seems like it’s going to be the most ridiculous yet. Please tell me you saw Spencer with his crystals! LOL, this guy is clearly putting on a show to get attention, and he is more desperate than ever, because his only claim to fame is going to be over in a few short months. AND Heidi told one of the girls that she really wanted her new boobs to be H's?!?! For Heidi!!! Hahaha!! That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! You know what I don’t understand? Why do these people who don’t like each other hang out together? It’s so obvious that these scenes are set up purely for the show. At least when Lauren was on it, it appeared that, for the most part, people hung out with each other because they were friends. Whatever. I will still watch it :)
• You can't talk about The Hills without mentioning The City! I love The City! What's not to love? You have Whitney Port and Kelly Cutrone. I love how Kelly is so blunt but she also had that softer side that you don't see all that often. Well, I suppose there is one thing not to love, and her name is Olivia! Can we say jealous?! That's the only explanation I can possibly think of to why she is such a butch to Whitney this season. How does that girl even keep a job with her attitude? I'm honestly not a huge fan of Erin either, who works with Olivia at Elle. I do like that she immediately sensed Olivia's sense of entitlement to everything, but she is in charge of Olivia and she does not act very professional about it.
• Have you watched Parenthood? It's new this year and I LOVE this show! It's so great, and I like all of the story lines. Plus, it have Lorelai Gilmore in it, how can you not love her? (speaking of Gilmore Girls, Luke is on 90210 now! I think it was only a couple episodes, but he's the dad of a main character!)
• American Idol is winding down for the season. I think there are 5 (4?) left. My favorites are Crystal and Lee. I actually didn't like Lee at all when they announced he made it on the show, but after his first 2 performances, I definitely became a fan! I really want Crystal to win though!
• The Real Housewives of New Jersey. I have been waiting for this to come back on, and now that it is, I don't know why I was so anxious. I'm sad because I want to like the show more than I do. I just don't know how much longer they can drag this situation with Danielle out. And that's like the only story line they have going. Seriously? If you don't like someone then don't text them congratulations that your daughter is a model!! They are just so dramatic about it. And Danielle is a NUTCASE! Who throws themself a party because their daughter made a magazine cover?! And the daughter isn't even invited! If I were the daughter, my feelings would be hurt. It's kind of like when my mom was going to have a grandma shower because I was pregnant. I won't go there.
• Fringe! I don't have anything to discuss about this show, but I can't have a post about tv shows I watch without including this favorite of mine. And so that I can include a picture of my boyfriend on the side :)
• I'm excited for The Bachelorette with Ali to start! I think it is set to start this month? I'm not positive, but I will definitely be watching! I think that Reality Steve already has some spoilers up, if you like to ruin it for yourself, which I do!
• Speaking of new shows, the new season of So You Think You Can Dance starts at the end of the month!!!!! This is my favorite show EVER and I'm so so excited! This season, they are only taking 10 new contestants to the top 20. Then they are going to be paired with 10 of the past contestants. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but it will be interesting for sure :)

I didn't start out to write a post about television, somehow that just happened! Haha, maybe I should get a life? I have just always loved tv, and especially reality tv. Sadly, I watch a LOT more shows than just this, but these were the ones that sprung to mind as I typed. :)

Today I am ONE MONTH from my due date! I can't believe that I'm so close to having him!